Pikes Party 1996 Song

To the tune of ---- "A Little Bitty Tear" ----- By Ray

A little bitty beer let me down
they threw me out the Rose and Crown
I had a drink at home and some in town
Maybe that explains me falling down

I had some beer and some whiskey
Some rum and gin and tonic too
But the whole damn lot just up and left me
I spent the evening on the loo

A little bitty beer let me down
they threw me out the Rose and Crown
I had a drink at home and some in town
Maybe that explains me falling down

I thought I'd get some food inside me
Chop Suey from a Chinaman
But it wouldn't settle down inside me
So I watched the lot go down the pan

A little bitty beer let me down
they threw me out the Rose and Crown
I had a drink at home and some in town
Maybe that explains me falling down

Now drinking sometimes makes me grimace
And you know how much I like to laugh
I eat some peanuts washed down with a Guinness
And next day I pebble dashed the bath

A litte bitty beer let me down
They threw out the rose and Crown
I had a drink at home and some in town
Maybe that explains me falling down
'Cos a little bitty beer let me down

To the tune of ---- "Harper Valley PTA" ---- By Ray

We want to tell you all a story 'bout a bunch of blokes well you know who
'Cos there's Bob, Pete, Paul - Alan, Graham, Nick and David too
Well they thought they'd pack their bags and leave their wives and kids at home and go away
Not forgetting Jeff and Bryan and their cousin Neil and cousin Ray

Oh well first they went to Bury, that's St Edmunds to the likes of us
And the next two years - down Benfleet 'til the neighbours caused a fuss
Now ask anyone 'bout Manchester weekends and they will say
"Well when you've seen one iron bridge you've seen the lot now where's the pub gone anyway"

Well then came Witham, Cambridge, Oxford, Plumstead followed up by Chippy N
And if you didn't catch - them all well we're not singing them again
'Cos we are going off to Groton and then sailing to the Isle of Wight and hey
Well now we're at the Pier in Wigan and then off to practice dialect in Dudlay

Then in ninety one came Uley, and then Chesterfield and we go on and on
Well we all went off across the channel to Boulogne then Ingleton
Now that's an awful lot of places for cousin Val who stays at home to phone
So last year Nick took his mobile to the sleepy Norfolk town of Kettlestone

We don't know if you've counting all tha names an all the places we've been
But if you add it up - it comes to a grand total of nineteen
And next year we'll make it twenty and it could be anywhere within these shores
But don't look so smug about it 'cos the rumour is we're coming round to yours!

But don't look so smug about it 'cos the rumour is we're coming round to yours!

To the tune of ---- "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" ---- By Ray

We've been together many years
Far more than we can count
We've had a laugh and drunk some beers
We guess no small amount
Now people say we're past it 'cos
Our hair is going grey
But we're very glad to spell it out
The Pikes are here to stay

P-I-K-E-H-A-N
We're Pikehands without end
We only need to spell it out
C-O-U-S-S-I-N
We may all be dyslexic
And can't S-P-E-L-L
But we're H-A-P-P-Y in our F-A-M-I-L-L-Y
(Spoken) That's not how you spell it!!
(Spoken) This lot won't know the difference!!

We've put on weight and we're slowing down
'Cos we're getting O-L-D
And counting years just makes us frown
Try asking B-O-B
And D-A-V-I-D is
F-I-F-T-Y you see
But until his dying day He'll stay
A P-I-K-K-E
(Spoken) There's only one K in Pike!!
(Spoken by Ray) It doesn't fit with just one. They won't notice!!

P-I-K-E-H-A-N
We're Pikehands without end
We only need to spell it out
C-O-U-S-S-I-N
We may all be dyslexic
And can't S-P-E-L-L
But we're H-A-P-P-Y in our F-A-M-I-L-L-Y

The other day we got a call
From B-R-Y-A-N
There's a P-A-R-T-Y-O-Y
At N-I-C-K-S
Now he'll provide F-O-O-D
And beers we'll get a few
And Gra will put a pinny on
And light the Bar-B-Q

P-I-K-E-H-A-N
We're Pikehands without end
We only need to spell it out
C-O-U-S-S-I-N
We may all be dyslexic
And can't S-P-E-L-L
But we're H-A-P-P-Y in our F-A-M-I-L-L-Y

(Spoken by Ray) I'm not having my family think I can't spell!! (muttering)
Well if your're so smart
Maybe you should start
To write the S-O-N-G-S
You wouldn't have a C-L-U-(E)
You'd soon be in a mess
I wrote this song for Y-O-U
Yet all you do is scoff
So you can B-L-E-E-D-I-N-G P-I-S-S off!

(Sung by Pikes)
We're P-I-K-E-S we are (Spoken) It's getting worse!!
We don't need a H-A-N-(D)
We we're born this way
We've sung this song for Y-O-U
Yet all you do is scoff
So you can B-L-E-E-D-I-N-G P-I-S-S off!

Though you're F-A-M-I-L-Y you
Can P-I-S-S off!