HARDLY CONCISE

Hardly Concise ----- By Bob --- delivered at Holmfirth Weekend 2011

My mum Poly is of the Nation family, long of Holmfirth. She was conceived after her parents Leega and Bertha united. Poly’s beauty was renowned. All the lads tried their luck with her. My dad Ineego lodged next door, in the cottages on Moor Road. In eight years of study he never noticed Poly or the droves of males she thwarted. Frustrated they called her Polystoppa. In spare time dad thoroughly explore the moor.

Generations of Saddleworth Moor, Concise family, bred and trained whippets. Their success resulted from training the eldest son to inherit and developed the business. So at eighteen my dad was sent below to Holmfirth to study mustard enhancement at the Upbum pharmacy. Dad’s anal accelerator was a huge success for racing whippets. His human derivative has been selected for the British 2012 Olyimpic hopefuls. Its not dangerous like bricks???

When dad qualified and was locking the cottage for the last time Poly emerged. After a short chat they took a walk on the moor. Each week dad went back. He took her to many of his secret moor locations. Towards the end of four years together they invented Polyfilla on the moor. To them it became Ineego moor from that day. In the next few weeks they perfected Polyfilla and also discovered Polystrippa. They wed and lived in the family home. In three months I was born.

Although I was the eldest son I had no business interest. My younger brother Seldom, now runs it. At eighteen I Studied in London. It’s been my home ever since. Strangely, my youthful accent and dialect is obvious still. Like dad and mum I am slow, verbose and ponderous. So it took eight years to become a poet. For twenty years since I’ve been writing, but you’ve probably not had time to appreciate my work. Priti, is a girl of mixed parents who moved in with me a year ago. Her dad was Wan Lu and mother Elizabeth Cid, who friends call El. Their married surname was hyphenated. Priti and I parted as friends recently so I returned to Holmfirth. In recognition of family traits she named our son Notso Lu-Cid.

My poem is available on Amazon for £56.00 but it is £30.00 if you order it from me today.

An 80mm thick book was displayed to Pikes. It contained the only poem written by Hardly.