Pikehand of the year Nominations 2001

Ray ---- Senile Piking

It was the start of the a new very hectic season of comedies, dramas and tragedies. The theatre was fully booked, the bars and refreshment areas were fully stocked, a full complement of backstage and support staff had been recruited, scene shifters were ready to strike each set and erect another in time for the next performance. All performers were in varying stages of preparedness for current and future productions. In fact theatre management had never been so busy with hardly a moment to eat a meal, blow a nose or visit the little room. At this point early one morning, before the day's main activities had peaked, Ray decided to ring Dad Stone. However there was no answer. Some time later Ray tried again with the same result. This procedure continued throughout the day without success and all the time the production scheduling pressure was mounting. Ray became worried particularly as his car was in for service and would not be ready that day and there was no chance of him driving to Mottingham. He rang Vera to ask if Dad was away doing something to which the answer was negative. Following discussion on what action to take Ray decided to ring the warden but did not have the number. As the number was given Ray asked if the warden's STD was different from Dad's and again got a negative. It seems, in senility, Ray had been using the wrong STD all day. Ray blames the work pressure but we know different.

Bob ---- Wrath Avoidance Piking

Vera had gone to work as usual in order to support Bob in the manner to which he had become accustomed. Bob went by car to spend some of Vera's support in a nearby town. Upon return, in his usual tidy way, Bob unlocked the garage and parked the car slamming the garage door behind him. Fishing in his pocket for the house keys he realised they were with the garage keys inside the locked car inside the locked garage and the only key he had was the car key. Fearing the wrath of Vera Bob decided to ring her at work but realised that the mobile phone was with the garage keys. Bob panicked balking at the thought of ringing her on a neighbour's phone. Enlisting the help of a gardener working next door Bob broke a window in the garage thus managing to get the house keys from the car. Bob changed is plans for the remainder of the day and used some more of Vera's support to purchased materials for re-glazing the window spending the rest of the day doing it. It made no difference because Vera was still wrathful.

Bob ---- Double up Piking

Bob languished in the warmth of his bed whilst Vera arose to allow the chimney sweep in. He was quick and efficient vacuuming up all the soot and leaving the house as if nothing had taken place and all for a cost of £30.00. Some time later, after Vera had gone to work, Bob arose and wiping the sleep from his eyes descended to the lounge to view the news on television. However the screen was a complete mess. Bob retrieved the manual and proceeded to re-programme the machine to no avail. He then remembered the chimney sweep and thought that he may have dislodged the Arial. Binoculars in hand he viewed the Arial from different angles but could see no obvious signs. A hunt through the Yellow Pages yielded an emergency Arial repair company who would come out that day. In due course they arrived and switched on the video machine (the sweep had been using the socket for his vacuum machine) and Lo the television worked costing another £30.00.