Pikehand of the year Nominations 2017

Alan --- Artic Van Man Piking --- By Claire

Being a devoted and selfless wife I agreed to and willingly planned and packed for a week away on a remote South West Wales Island.

For this trip to an off grid isle with no form of heating it is necessary that you take all the provisions you will need in addition to clothing to cope with the charms of offshore weather at the end of April.

I dutifully offered to take care of all the catering requirements. Menus were planned and due consideration given to snacks and high energy requirements of my beloved while sat for hours in the chill watching the birds or recording their melodious tones.

Alan is a man with a van and so it was decided we would travel down in the van and spend the evening and night before the jolly boat trip in the van at the very well situated campsite close to the jetty. Alan has a place for everything in his van, most things stealthed away under the seats. This was to be the first trip of the year so there was some major sorting and arranging to be done. The food bags and my clothes, being added last, the only things to offend the the eye in the packed van.

Most of you here have known Alan for some time and know him to be a meticulous planner who has developed the use of a check list into a high art form. Thus we set off in fine fettle and spring sunshine for the long journey to Wales. The journey was not without incident as a wrong turn on my part meant that we took the scenic route through the Wye valley rather than the intended motorway.

Still, we arrived, just about on speaking terms.

We arrived late, it was chilly, but a pleasing sunset greeted us. Naturally I headed off to the facilities. On my return Alan was looking forlorn, seriously forlorn. With difficulty he uttered the words a woman on holiday with a man with a van in April never wants to hear.

I forgot the bedding! No no my dearest, says I, you are tired and your mind is playing tricks, it will be in the special compartment that you reserve for such items, surely????

His countenance assured me it wasn't.

The night was cold and getting colder, it was the time, you may recall, when the Arctic winds were heading south, we had no sleeping bags, no duvets, No pillows, none of the blankets usually on board. Alan was bereft. We did our best but it was pretty dire ..... I just couldn't get him to see the funny side.

Of course I did what any sensible person with the means would do, wrapped up as best I could and took a sleeping pill!

It was really perishing. We were chilled to the bone. But we stayed in the van!! no Band B for us.

So I nominate my husband Alan for (Arctic Van Man piking).