Pikehand of the year Nominations 2005

Bryan ---- Careless Piking

For leaving the Pikehand in Yorkshire

Tim ---- Lousy Excuse Piking

Embarrassing sleep walking. He walks in his sleep and one night is found trying to get into another bed in the house. Trouble is one of Anya’s girl friends was sleeping in the bed at the time.
(Pete has sent a more detailed report but it won’t get through the company firewall)

Ray --- Unattended Piking

Organising the weekend and yet not turning up

Valerie --- Virulent Piking

For e-mailing an attachment of the family Tree to Sally’s work PC and crashing the system

Alan --- Train the Trainer Piking

For writing carpy (re arrange the letters) instructions to get all the Pikes on a universal e-mail group

George --- Sid(select another vowel) Off piking

Puts rugby before Piking and then expects us all to send expensive off shore text messages wishing him well.

Graham and Anna --- Mickey Taking Piking

Returning from a very bad journey from Poland, G & A fall into bed exhausted. In the middle of the night Anna tells Graham that the carpet in the bathroom is wet. After looking for a leak they call in the gas board under the terms of their insurance. The gas man rips out the skirting board but can’t find a leak. Graham then decides that the water must have been a spillage from the person who waters the plants when they are away.
Graham starts to put the skirting board back. To save time he decides to use No Nail glue but he couldn’t get it to stick
Graham goes to get his tool box from the cupboard and finds that mice have invaded the cupboard and chewed into a wheat filled cushion. Wheat is all over the place Wheat Water and No Nails All on his day off.

Nick --- Taxing Piking

Nick is informed by the Inland Revenue that he has now become a standard rate taxpayer. The letter then goes on to tell him that this year he will pay more tax.